Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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