evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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