You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
