It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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