You work out of a Hotel?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
