I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Everclear isn't food dammit
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize