she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize