yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
