do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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