Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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