I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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