i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
