I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize