she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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