Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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