If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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