my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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