why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
