I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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