wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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