Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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