Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
