My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
