he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We don't watch enough power rangers
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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