I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
