I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
