I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
