On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
time to smoke my breakfast
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
