My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
