you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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