My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
