He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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