He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
