Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
