In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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