Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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