I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
