its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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