That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
