I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
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in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
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And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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