i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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