Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize