The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
