Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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