i need an iv and a liver transplant
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
