I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
