it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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