just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
