Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
