I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize