That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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