Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
