She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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