small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
