Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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