dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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