bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
