Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
