based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
