After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
