As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
