Will you blow on my dice?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
birth control should be required to get into college
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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