Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
