You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
